EPISODE 47 | 你想不想要孩子？

Xinqing: Hello大家好。
Xinqing: Hello dà​jiā hǎo.
Xinqing: Hello everyone.

Ella已是老嘉宾了。
Ella yǐ shì lǎo jiā​bīn le.
Ella is already a regular guest.

Ella: 在节目里来过两次了，是不是？
Ella: zài jié​mù lǐ lái guò liǎng cì le, shì​bù​shì?
Ella: Been on the show twice, haven’t you?

是很开心再次来到瞎扯学中文。
shì hěn kāi​xīn zài​cì lái​dào xiā​chě xué Zhōng​wén.
I am very happy to come to Huaba to learn Chinese again.

Xinqing: 耶谢谢你完整地念出了我的podcast的名字。
Xinqing: yē xiè​xie nǐ wán​zhěng de niàn chū le wǒ de podcast de míng​zi.
Xinqing: Yeah thank you for reading the name of my podcast in full.

对，今天想跟大家聊一个反正最近我也在on my mind的一个话题，就是关于要不要孩子这个问题，可能也是很多30岁的女性朋友，女性听众可能会在考虑的一个问题。
duì, jīn​tiān xiǎng gēn dà​jiā liáo yí gè fǎn​zhèng zuì​jìn wǒ yě zài on my mind de yí gè huà​tí, jiù​shì guān​yú yào bù​yào hái​zi zhè​ge wèn​tí, kě​néng yě shì hěn duō 30 suì de nǚ​xìng péng​you, nǚ​xìng tīng​zhòng kě​néng huì zài kǎo​lǜ de yí gè wèn​tí.
Yes, today I want to talk to you about a topic that I am also on my mind recently, which is about whether to have children. It may also be a question that many 30-year-old female friends and female audiences may be thinking about.

好，对Ella比小一点，Ella:你年几岁？
hǎo, duì Ella bǐ xiǎo yī​diǎn, Ella: nǐ nián jǐ​suì?
Okay, a little younger than Ella, Ella: How old are you?

Ella: 我今年马上29岁。
Ella: wǒ jīn​nián mǎ​shàng 29 suì.
Ella: I will be 29 years old this year.

Xinqing: 那也不小了，29在中国的理念里面29也不小了。
Xinqing: nà yě bù xiǎo le, 29 zài Zhōng​guó de lǐ​niàn lǐ​miàn 29 yě bù xiǎo le.
Xinqing: That’s not too small, 29 is not too small in the Chinese concept.

Ella: 小的大家都年轻。
Ella: xiǎo de dà​jiā dōu nián​qīng.
Ella: Everyone who is small is young.

Xinqing: 我今年32确实是因为我最近也就最近好几年了，有好多的周围的朋友都结婚的，该结婚的结婚，该生小孩的小孩生二胎的就已经有很多了。
Xinqing: wǒ jīn​nián 32 què​shí shì yīn​wèi wǒ zuì​jìn yě jiù zuì​jìn hǎo​jǐ​nián le, yǒu hǎo​duō de zhōu​wéi de péng​you dōu jié​hūn de, gāi jié​hūn de jié​hūn, gāi shēng xiǎo​hái de xiǎo​hái shēng èr​tāi de jiù yǐ​jīng yǒu hěn duō le.
Xinqing: I’m 32 this year because I’ve only been around for a few years now, and many of my friends around me are getting married. Those who should get married get married, and those who should have children have already had a second child.

所以我最近也在朋友圈看到很多朋友在晒小小孩的照片，晒娃，小朋友娃娃，然后还有比如说一周岁二胎，你的朋友圈里有。
suǒ​yǐ wǒ zuì​jìn yě zài Péng​you​quān kàn dào hěn duō péng​you zài shài xiǎo xiǎo​hái de zhào​piàn, shài wá, xiǎo​péng​yǒu wá​wa, rán​hòu hái​yǒu bǐ​rú shuō yī​zhōu suì èr​tāi, nǐ de péng​you quān lǐ yǒu.
So recently I also saw many friends in Moments posting photos of young children, posting babies, children’s dolls, and for example, one-year-old and second child, your Moments have them.

Ella: 这个趋势吗？
Ella: zhè​ge qū​shì ma?
Ella: Is this a trend?

我还挺惊讶听到你这么说的，因为我觉得我身边的亲近的朋友圈子很少有人就没有人已经有小孩了，可能大家非常亲密的朋友是对于人生和生活的理解比较相似的，然后我对生活的理解是生小孩不是我人生的一个必要的事情去做，也不是一个紧要的事情。
wǒ hái tǐng jīng​yà tīng​dào nǐ zhè​me shuō de, yīn​wèi wǒ jué​de wǒ shēn​biān de qīn​jìn de péng​you quān​zi hěn shǎo yǒu​rén jiù méi​yǒu rén yǐ​jīng yǒu xiǎo​hái le, kě​néng dà​jiā fēi​cháng qīn​mì de péng​you shì duì​yú rén​shēng hé shēng​huó de lǐ​jiě bǐ​jiào xiāng​sì de, rán​hòu wǒ duì shēng​huó de lǐ​jiě shì shēng xiǎo​hái bù​shì wǒ rén​shēng de yí gè bì​yào de shì​qing qù zuò, yě bù​shì yí gè jǐn​yào de shì​qing.
I’m quite surprised to hear you say that, because I think there are very few people in my close circle of friends, and no one has children. Maybe everyone’s very close friends have similar understandings of life and life, and then My understanding of life is that having a child is not a necessary thing in my life to do, nor is it an urgent thing.

然后非常巧合的是我的朋友们也都觉得生孩子不是一个人生大事或者人生必做的事情。
rán​hòu fēi​cháng qiǎo​hé de shì wǒ de péng​you men yě dōu jué​de shēng hái​zi bù​shì yí gè rén​shēng dà​shì huò​zhě rén​shēng bì zuò de shì​qing.
And it is very coincidental that my friends also think that having a child is not a major event in life or something that must be done in life.

Xinqing: 所以你觉得生孩子不是你人生中必做的事情，你是可以接受一个scenario，比如说未来你就没有小孩。
Xinqing: suǒ​yǐ nǐ jué​de shēng hái​zi bù​shì nǐ rén​shēng zhōng bì zuò de shì​qing, nǐ shì kě​yǐ jiē​shòu yí gè scenario, bǐ​rú shuō wèi​lái nǐ jiù méi​yǒu xiǎo​hái.
Xinqing: So you feel that having children is not something you must do in your life. You can accept a scenario, for example, you will not have children in the future.

Ella: 我其实让我来重复重述一下，我的话，我觉得我就是不想要孩子的。
Ella: wǒ qí​shí ràng wǒ lái chóng​fù chóng​shù yī​xià, wǒ de​huà, wǒ jué​de wǒ jiù​shì bù xiǎng​yào hái​zi de.
Ella: I actually let me repeat, in my mind, I don’t think I just want kids.

Xinqing: 你跟你爸妈讨论过这个话题吗？
Xinqing: nǐ gēn nǐ bà​mā tǎo​lùn guò zhè​ge huà​tí ma?
Xinqing: Have you discussed this topic with your parents?

Ella: 我跟我爸妈讨论过，我觉得几年前他们可能还倾向于比较传统的家庭观念，觉得女人是要结婚生子，你的人生才算完整。
Ella: wǒ gēn wǒ bà​mā tǎo​lùn guò, wǒ jué​de jǐ​nián qián tā​men kě​néng hái qīng​xiàng yú bǐ​jiào chuán​tǒng de jiā​tíng guān​niàn, jué​de nǚ​rén shì yào jié​hūn shēng​zǐ, nǐ de rén​shēng cái suàn wán​zhěng.
Ella: I discussed it with my parents. I think a few years ago they might still have a more traditional family concept, thinking that a woman’s life is complete only when she gets married and has children.

但是我从20岁左右开始给我妈洗脑加引号的洗脑，然后跟他讲结婚和生孩子都不是人生必须的，也不一定是我追求的，然后我妈妈也非常接受，至少对于生孩子这一块，他觉得完全是我自己的选择。
dàn​shì wǒ cóng 20 suì zuǒ​yòu kāi​shǐ gěi wǒ mā xǐ​nǎo jiā yǐn​hào de xǐ​nǎo, rán​hòu gēn tā jiǎng jié​hūn hé shēng hái​zi dōu bù​shì rén​shēng bì​xū de, yě bù yī​dìng shì wǒ zhuī​qiú de, rán​hòu wǒ mā​ma yě fēi​cháng jiē​shòu, zhì​shǎo duì​yú shēng hái​zi zhè yī​kuài, tā jué​de wán​quán shì wǒ zì​jǐ de xuǎn​zé.
But I started to brainwash my mother with quotation marks when I was around 20 years old, and then told him that marriage and having children are not necessary in life, nor are they necessarily what I pursue, and then my mother is very accepting, at least for the matter of having children. One piece, he felt it was entirely my own choice.

Xinqing: 你妈妈居然接受了。
Xinqing: nǐ mā​ma jū​rán jiē​shòu le.
Xinqing: Your mother actually accepted it.

Ella: 她有时候会开玩笑说生个混血宝宝给她带过来，因为我现在住在瑞士，然后再谈一个非中国的男朋友，所以我妈妈会开这样的玩笑，但他并不会真的去督促我或者去推不说去做这样的事。
Ella: tā yǒu​shí​hou huì kāi​wán​xiào shuō shēng gè hùn​xuè bǎo​bǎo gěi tā dài guò​lái, yīn​wèi wǒ xiàn​zài zhù zài Ruì​shì, rán​hòu zài tán yí gè fēi Zhōng​guó de nán​péng​you, suǒ​yǐ wǒ mā​ma huì kāi zhè​yàng de wán​xiào, dàn tā bìng bù​huì zhēn de qù dū​cù wǒ huò​zhě qù tuī bù shuō qù zuò zhè​yàng de shì.
Ella: She sometimes jokes about having a mixed-race baby and bring her here, because I live in Switzerland now, and I’m talking about a non-Chinese boyfriend, so my mother will make jokes like that, but he won’t really To urge me or to push me to do such a thing.

Xinqing: 你爸爸或者你爷爷奶奶。
Xinqing: nǐ bà​ba huò​zhě nǐ yé​ye nǎi​nai.
Xinqing: Your father or your grandparents.

Ella: 我很少跟我爸爸聊，非常重要的话题，我跟我爸爸父女之间的相处模式就是打打闹闹，说说笑笑。
Ella: wǒ hěn shǎo gēn wǒ bà​ba liáo, fēi​cháng zhòng​yào de huà​tí, wǒ gēn wǒ bà​ba fù​nǚ zhī​jiān de xiāng​chǔ mó​shì jiù​shì dǎ dǎ nào nào, shuō​shuo xiào xiào.
Ella: I seldom talk to my dad. It’s a very important topic. The way I get along with my dad and daughter is to fight, talk and laugh.

我爷爷奶奶姥姥姥爷都年纪稍大，身体都不是特别好，我们不会太经常聊生活上的东西。
wǒ yé​ye nǎi​nai lǎo​lao lǎo​ye dōu nián​jì shāo dà, shēn​tǐ dōu bù​shì tè​bié hǎo, wǒ​men bù​huì tài jīng​cháng liáo shēng​huó shàng de dōng​xi.
My grandparents and grandparents are all a little older, and their health is not particularly good. We don’t talk about things in life too often.

Xinqing: 因为我觉得在中国的传统观念里面还是挺难说服爸爸妈妈，然后尤其是爷爷奶奶这一辈老人说我这一辈子就不想要小孩了，觉得这是一个对他们来说挺恐惧的话题，如果你把话说得很绝，如果你说我肯定这一辈子不会要小孩，对他们来说，在中国的传统观念里面传宗接代，烟火的传序是非常重要的，特别是比如说对我奶奶来说，把我们家的姓氏传递下去也是很重要的。
Xinqing: yīn​wèi wǒ jué​de zài Zhōng​guó de chuán​tǒng guān​niàn lǐ​miàn hái​shi tǐng nán shuō​fú bà​ba mā​ma, rán​hòu yóu​qí shì yé​ye nǎi​nai zhè yí bèi lǎo​rén shuō wǒ zhè yī​bèi​zi jiù bù xiǎng​yào xiǎo​hái le, jué​de zhè shì yí gè duì tā​men lái shuō tǐng kǒng​jù de huà​tí, rú​guǒ nǐ bǎ huà shuō de hěn jué, rú​guǒ nǐ shuō wǒ kěn​dìng zhè yī​bèi​zi bù​huì yào xiǎo​hái, duì tā​men lái shuō, zài Zhōng​guó de chuán​tǒng guān​niàn lǐ​miàn chuán​zōng​jiē​dài, yān​huǒ de chuán xù shì fēi​cháng zhòng​yào de, tè​bié shì bǐ​rú shuō duì wǒ nǎi​nai lái shuō, bǎ wǒ​men jiā de xìng​shì chuán​dì xià​qù yě shì hěn zhòng​yào de.
Xinqing: Because I think it is still very difficult to convince parents in the traditional Chinese concept, and especially the grandparents of this generation say that I don’t want children in my life. I think this is a very scary topic for them. If you say it absolutely, if you say that I am sure that I will not have children in this life, for them, in the traditional Chinese concept, the succession of the family and the sequence of fireworks are very important, especially for my grandma. That said, it’s also important to pass on our family’s last name.

所以说因为在中国跟很多其他国家一样，都是跟爸爸姓，比如说传统上一般来说你生了小孩以后，小孩是跟着爸爸的姓，但是我奶奶，（不好意思） 是我的外婆，是我的妈妈的妈妈，她非常的希望对他来说最重要的一件事情是他的我们“陆”姓能够传下去，所以我的妈妈姓陆，我是跟我妈妈姓的，而不是跟我爸爸姓的，而且我是家里唯一的孩子，所以我觉得我外婆应该不能接受，如果说我不要孩子，而且如果我要孩子，他肯定也希望我的小孩能够姓陆。
suǒ​yǐ shuō yīn​wèi zài Zhōng​guó gēn hěn duō qí​tā guó​jiā yī​yàng, dōu shì gēn bà​ba xìng, bǐ​rú shuō chuán​tǒng shàng yī​bān​lái​shuō nǐ shēng le xiǎo​hái yǐ​hòu, xiǎo​hái shì gēn​zhe bà​ba de xìng, dàn​shì wǒ nǎi​nai, (bù​hǎo​yì​si) shì wǒ de wài​pó, shì wǒ de mā​ma de mā​ma, tā fēi​cháng de xī​wàng duì tā lái shuō zuì zhòng​yào de yí jiàn shì​qing shì tā de wǒ​men ``lù” xìng néng​gòu chuán xià​qù, suǒ​yǐ wǒ de mā​ma xìng lù, wǒ shì gēn wǒ mā​ma xìng de, ér bù​shì gēn wǒ bà​ba xìng de, ér​qiě wǒ shì jiā​lǐ wéi​yī de hái​zi, suǒ​yǐ wǒ jué​de wǒ wài​pó yīng​gāi bù​néng jiē​shòu, rú​guǒ shuō wǒ bù​yào hái​zi, ér​qiě rú​guǒ wǒ yào hái​zi, tā kěn​dìng yě xī​wàng wǒ de xiǎo​hái néng​gòu xìng lù.
So because in China, like many other countries, the surname is the same as that of the father. For example, traditionally, after you give birth to a child, the child follows the surname of the father, but my grandma, (sorry) is my grandma, It is my mother’s mother. She very much hopes that the most important thing for him is that his “Lu” surname can be passed on, so my mother’s surname is Lu, and I have my mother’s surname, not My father’s last name is my father’s, and I’m the only child in the family, so I think my grandma can’t accept it. If I don’t want a child, and if I want a child, he must also want my child to be named Lu.

Ella: 我们家的情况，我爷爷奶奶那一代，我爷爷奶奶他们一对老夫妻在很多年前就分开了，所以我可能奶奶也对于传宗接代把姓氏传下去，没有那么强烈的执着感，然后爷爷我们后来就不太联系了，所以并没有从老一辈的这种家族的传承上面的一些压力，然后我觉得对于我们家庭来讲，我爸爸妈妈接受我去自己做人生的决定，可能是从出国左右或者比更早一些，从上高中上大学到读书出国工作就开始了，然后生不生孩子也是我的一个人生决定，因为他们已经习惯于我去自己做自己的人生决定，所以我决定我要不要孩子，他们也是可以接受的。
Ella: wǒ​men jiā de qíng​kuàng, wǒ yé​ye nǎi​nai nà yī​dài, wǒ yé​ye nǎi​nai tā​men yī​duì lǎo​fū qī zài hěn duō nián qián jiù fēn​kāi le, suǒ​yǐ wǒ kě​néng nǎi​nai yě duì​yú chuán​zōng​jiē​dài bǎ xìng​shì chuán xià​qù, méi​yǒu nà​me qiáng​liè de zhí​zhuó gǎn, rán​hòu yé​ye wǒ​men hòu​lái jiù bú tài lián​xì le, suǒ​yǐ bìng méi​yǒu cóng lǎo​yī​bèi de zhè​zhǒng jiā​zú de chuán​chéng shàng​miàn de yī​xiē yā​lì, rán​hòu wǒ jué​de duì​yú wǒ​men jiā​tíng lái​jiǎng, wǒ bà​ba mā​ma jiē​shòu wǒ qù zì​jǐ zuò rén​shēng de jué​dìng, kě​néng shì cóng chū​guó zuǒ​yòu huò​zhě bǐ gèng zǎo yī​xiē, cóng shàng gāo​zhōng shàng Dà​xué dào dú​shū chū​guó gōng​zuò jiù kāi​shǐ le, rán​hòu shēng bù shēng hái​zi yě shì wǒ de yí gè rén​shēng jué​dìng, yīn​wèi tā​men yǐ​jīng xí​guàn yú wǒ qù zì​jǐ zuò zì​jǐ de rén​shēng jué​dìng, suǒ​yǐ wǒ jué​dìng wǒ yào bù​yào hái​zi, tā​men yě shì kě​yǐ jiē​shòu de.
Ella: Our family’s situation, my grandparents’ generation, my grandparents and their old couple separated many years ago, so my grandma may not have such a strong sense of attachment to passing on the surname to the next generation, and my grandpa We didn’t get in touch with each other very much later, so there was no pressure from the family inheritance of the older generation. Then I think that for our family, my parents accepted me to make my own life decisions, maybe from Going abroad or a little earlier than before, from high school to college to studying abroad to work, and then whether to have children is also a life decision of mine, because they are used to me making my own life decisions, so I Deciding whether I want children or not, they are also acceptable.

Xinqing: 我想问问你，比如说为什么你不想要孩子主要的原因是什么？
Xinqing: wǒ xiǎng wèn wèn nǐ, bǐ​rú shuō wèi​shén​me nǐ bù xiǎng​yào hái​zi zhǔ​yào de yuán​yīn shì shén​me?
Xinqing: I would like to ask you, for example, what is the main reason why you do not want children?

Ella: 我觉得可能很多人对于孩子是有一种天生的喜爱的，我觉得我是没有的，就对我来说，如果可能唯一的所谓喜爱可能是看到一个可爱的小宝宝就觉得蛮可爱的，但对我来说这种可爱是等同于我养一只猫或者养一只狗的，就我这种对于可爱的事物的喜欢感是可以被其他东西代替的，然后对于孩子就没有什么强烈的想要有一个孩子的欲望。
Ella: wǒ jué​de kě​néng hěn duō rén duì​yú hái​zi shì yǒu yī​zhǒng tiān​shēng de xǐ​’ài de, wǒ jué​de wǒ shì méi​yǒu de, jiù duì wǒ lái shuō, rú​guǒ kě​néng wéi​yī de suǒ​wèi xǐ​’ài kě​néng shì kàn dào yí gè kě​’ài de xiǎo bǎo​bǎo jiù jué​de mán kě​’ài de, dàn duì wǒ lái shuō zhè​zhǒng kě​’ài shì děng​tóng yú wǒ yǎng yì zhī māo huò​zhě yǎng yì zhī gǒu de, jiù wǒ zhè​zhǒng duì​yú kě​’ài de shì​wù de xǐ​huan gǎn shì kě​yǐ bèi qí​tā dōng​xi dài​tì de, rán​hòu duì​yú hái​zi jiù méi​yǒu shén​me qiáng​liè de xiǎng​yào yǒu yí gè hái​zi de yù​wàng.
Ella: I think that many people may have a natural love for children. I don’t think I have it. For me, if possible, the only so-called love may be to see a cute baby and think it’s cute , but for me, this kind of cuteness is equivalent to raising a cat or a dog. My liking for cute things can be replaced by other things, and then there is no strong feeling for children The desire to have a child.

Xinqing: 你觉得你不想要小孩，这个问题会成为你和你的男朋友，你们两个的关系的一个deal breaker吗？
Xinqing: nǐ jué​de nǐ bù xiǎng​yào xiǎo​hái, zhè​ge wèn​tí huì chéng​wéi nǐ hé nǐ de nán​péng​you, nǐ​men liǎng gè de guān​xi de yí gè deal breaker ma?
Xinqing: Do you think you don’t want children, will this issue be a deal breaker for you and your boyfriend, the relationship between the two of you?

Ella: 完全不会，我们在谈恋爱的非常早期，现在在一起三年，在刚开始的几个月这个话题就冒出来过，那个时候我就非常坚决和清楚的表明我是不想要孩子的，然后他也对这个事情非常的可以聊，他是比较对这个问题是有一个开放性态度的，然后他目前他也更趋向于我的观点，他也不是很想要孩子。
Ella: wán​quán bù​huì, wǒ​men zài tán​liàn​’ài de fēi​cháng zǎo​qī, xiàn​zài zài yī​qǐ sān nián, zài gāng kāi​shǐ de jǐ​ge yuè zhè​ge huà​tí jiù mào chū​lái guò, nà​ge shí​hou wǒ jiù fēi​cháng jiān​jué hé qīng​chu de biǎo​míng wǒ shì bù xiǎng​yào hái​zi de, rán​hòu tā yě duì zhè​ge shì​qing fēi​cháng de kě​yǐ liáo, tā shì bǐ​jiào duì zhè​ge wèn​tí shì yǒu yí gè kāi​fàng​xìng tài​du de, rán​hòu tā mù​qián tā yě gèng qū​xiàng yú wǒ de guān​diǎn, tā yě bù​shì hěn xiǎng​yào hái​zi.
Ella: Not at all. We were very early in our relationship. We have been together for three years now. This topic came up in the first few months. At that time, I made it very firm and clear that I did not want children. Yes, and he is also very talkative about this matter, he has an open attitude towards this issue, and he is now more inclined to my point of view, and he does not really want children.

Xinqing: 所以说其实是一个deal breaker，如果你找了一个男朋友，男朋友完全不能接受，你不想要孩子，这个事情你是不会跟这个人在一起的，如果有一个男朋友逼着你说一定要小孩。
Xinqing: suǒ​yǐ shuō qí​shí shì yí gè deal breaker, rú​guǒ nǐ zhǎo le yí gè nán​péng​you, nán​péng​you wán​quán bù​néng jiē​shòu, nǐ bù xiǎng​yào hái​zi, zhè​ge shì​qing nǐ shì bù​huì gēn zhè​ge rén zài yī​qǐ de, rú​guǒ yǒu yí gè nán​péng​you bī zhe nǐ shuō yī​dìng yào xiǎo​hái.
Xinqing: So it’s actually a deal breaker. If you find a boyfriend, the boyfriend can’t accept it at all. You don’t want children. You won’t be with this person. If a boyfriend forces you Said it must be a child.

Ella: 对是的，在这种情况下，我是会坚决不跟这个人在一起的。
Ella: duì shì de, zài zhè​zhǒng qíng​kuàng xià, wǒ shì huì jiān​jué bù gēn zhè​ge rén zài yī​qǐ de.
Ella: Yes, in this case, I will definitely not be with this person.

Xinqing: 之前我也有一个很好的朋友在英国，她其实也没有说一定不要小孩，但她当时三十几岁的时候就不想要小孩，然后她有一个谈了七八年的男朋友，感情很好的，但是因为男朋友想要结婚生小孩，然后她就坚决说那时候他不想要小孩，然后他们就分手了，我觉得还是挺可惜，她特别的伤心，就还挺难受的，这种事情成为一个唯一的过不去的坎。
Xinqing: zhī​qián wǒ yě yǒu yí gè hěn hǎo de péng​you zài Yīng​guó, tā qí​shí yě méi​yǒu shuō yī​dìng bù​yào xiǎo​hái, dàn tā dāng​shí sān​shí jǐ​suì de shí​hou jiù bù xiǎng​yào xiǎo​hái, rán​hòu tā yǒu yí gè tán le qī bā nián de nán​péng​you, gǎn​qíng hěn hǎo de, dàn​shì yīn​wèi nán​péng​you xiǎng​yào jié​hūn shēng xiǎo​hái, rán​hòu tā jiù jiān​jué shuō nà shí​hou tā bù xiǎng​yào xiǎo​hái, rán​hòu tā​men jiù fēn​shǒu le, wǒ jué​de hái​shi tǐng kě​xī, tā tè​bié de shāng​xīn, jiù hái tǐng nán​shòu de, zhè​zhǒng shì​qing chéng​wéi yí gè wéi​yī de guò​bu​qù de kǎn.
Xinqing: I also had a good friend in the UK before. She didn’t actually say that she must not have children, but she didn’t want children when she was in her thirties, and then she had a boyfriend who had been dating for seven or eight years. Very good, but because her boyfriend wanted to get married and have children, she insisted that he didn’t want children at that time, and then they broke up. I think it’s a pity. She was very sad, and it was quite uncomfortable. This kind of thing has become the only hurdle that cannot be overcome.

Ella: 对，所以我会在恋爱的初期就去开放性的探讨一些这些问题。
Ella: duì, suǒ​yǐ wǒ huì zài liàn​’ài de chū​qī jiù qù kāi​fàng​xìng de tàn​tǎo yī​xiē zhè​xiē wèn​tí.
Ella: Right, so I try to open up some of these issues early on in the relationship.

Xinqing: 但我觉得其实人也都是会变的，就像我一直也没有好好的决定，我其实没有执着执念说一定要或者一定不要，我跟你差不多，其实我不是很喜欢小孩，就没有那种天生的看到，比如说街上有一个婴儿车，有个小孩，我就一定会要去逗一下，因为很多朋友他会抱小孩或者逗小孩，我其实看到小孩挺害怕的，觉得是一个特别脆弱的生命体，就是一堆肉在那里，然后你如果一不小心就会你知道然后造成伤害，所以我还挺害怕小孩的。
Xinqing: dàn wǒ jué​de qí​shí rén yě dōu shì huì biàn de, jiù xiàng wǒ yī​zhí yě méi​yǒu hǎo​hǎo de jué​dìng, wǒ qí​shí méi​yǒu zhí​zhuó zhí niàn shuō yī​dìng yào huò​zhě yī​dìng bù​yào, wǒ gēn nǐ chà​bu​duō, qí​shí wǒ bù​shì hěn xǐ​huan xiǎo​hái, jiù méi​yǒu nà​zhǒng tiān​shēng de kàn dào, bǐ​rú shuō jiē​shang yǒu yí gè yīng​’ér​chē, yǒu gè xiǎo​hái, wǒ jiù yī​dìng huì yào qù dòu yī​xià, yīn​wèi hěn duō péng​you tā huì bào xiǎo​hái huò​zhě dòu xiǎo​hái, wǒ qí​shí kàn dào xiǎo​hái tǐng hài​pà de, jué​de shì yí gè tè​bié cuì​ruò de shēng​mìng tǐ, jiù​shì yī​duī ròu zài nà​li, rán​hòu nǐ rú​guǒ yí bù xiǎo​xīn jiù huì nǐ zhī​dào rán​hòu zào​chéng shāng​hài, suǒ​yǐ wǒ hái tǐng hài​pà xiǎo​hái de.
Xinqing: But I think people are subject to change, just like I have never made a good decision. In fact, I have no attachments to say that I must or must not. I am similar to you. In fact, I don’t like children very much. There is no such kind of natural seeing. For example, there is a baby carriage on the street, and there is a child. I will definitely go to tease it, because many friends will hold or tease the child. I am actually quite scared when I see a child. I think it is a particularly fragile living body, just a pile of flesh, and if you are not careful, you will know it and cause harm, so I am quite afraid of children.

但是我觉得最近几年改变我的一个事情，为什么想想让我想要小孩的一个原因是小孩对我来说不是传宗接代，但是是一个我很想看到我和我的老公的结合体是什么样子，所以这个想象让我觉得很有意思，你可以理解吗？
dàn​shì wǒ jué​de zuì​jìn jǐ​nián gǎi​biàn wǒ de yí gè shì​qing, wèi​shén​me xiǎng xiǎng ràng wǒ xiǎng​yào xiǎo​hái de yí gè yuán​yīn shì xiǎo​hái duì wǒ lái shuō bù​shì chuán​zōng​jiē​dài, dàn​shì shì yí gè wǒ hěn xiǎng kàn dào wǒ hé wǒ de lǎo​gōng de jié​hé tǐ shì shén​me yàng​zi, suǒ​yǐ zhè​ge xiǎng​xiàng ràng wǒ jué​de hěn yǒu yì​si, nǐ kě​yǐ lǐ​jiě ma?
But I think one thing that has changed me in recent years, why think about it? One of the reasons why I want a child is that a child is not an inheritance for me, but a child. I really want to see what the combination of me and my husband is. Look, so this imagination makes me feel very interesting, can you understand?

我觉得我是一个很好的个体，优秀的人类，然后我觉得我老公是一个很好的人，优秀的人类，然后我们两个又是混血，他是美国人，我是中国人，然后我就很有的时候你会看到网上有那个APP可以制作你们两个照片混到一起小孩会长什么样，然后自从就有了那个想象以后，我会觉得其实我还挺好奇的。
wǒ jué​de wǒ shì yí gè hěn hǎo de gè​tǐ, yōu​xiù de rén​lèi, rán​hòu wǒ jué​de wǒ lǎo​gōng shì yí gè hěn hǎo de rén, yōu​xiù de rén​lèi, rán​hòu wǒ​men liǎng gè yòu shì hùn​xuè, tā shì Měi​guó rén, wǒ shì Zhōng​guó rén, rán​hòu wǒ jiù hěn yǒu de shí​hou nǐ huì kàn dào wǎng​shàng yǒu nà​ge A P P kě​yǐ zhì​zuò nǐ​men liǎng gè zhào​piàn hùn dào yī​qǐ xiǎo​hái huì​zhǎng shén​me​yàng, rán​hòu zì​cóng jiù yǒu le nà​ge xiǎng​xiàng yǐ​hòu, wǒ huì jué​de qí​shí wǒ hái tǐng hào​qí de.
I think I am a good individual, an excellent human being, and then I think my husband is a good person, an excellent human being, and then we are both mixed, he is American, I am Chinese, and then I Very often, you will see that there is an app on the Internet that can make photos of the two of you mixed together, what will the child look like, and since I have that imagination, I will feel that I am actually quite curious.

Ella: 我理解，然后你要说这种想法的话，我也会对这种想法产生一些兴趣，但是我还是会考虑随着满足我这一点好奇心后面来的10年到20年的操劳和辛苦，我觉得好奇心还是让AI帮我来完成。
Ella: wǒ lǐ​jiě, rán​hòu nǐ yào​shuō zhè​zhǒng xiǎng​fǎ de​huà, wǒ yě huì duì zhè​zhǒng xiǎng​fǎ chǎn​shēng yī​xiē xìng​qù, dàn​shì wǒ hái​shi huì kǎo​lǜ suí​zhe mǎn​zú wǒ zhè yī​diǎn hào​qí​xīn hòu​miàn lái de 10 nián dào 20 nián de cāo​láo hé xīn​kǔ, wǒ jué​de hào​qí​xīn hái​shi ràng A I bāng wǒ lái wán​chéng.
Ella: I understand, and if you want to talk about this idea, I will also be interested in this idea, but I will still consider the 10 to 20 years of hard work and hard work that will follow after satisfying my curiosity , I think curiosity should be done by AI for me.

Xinqing: 但是也没有但就肯定有操劳和辛苦，但所有的妈妈也还是会说有很多的喜悦，就另外一个当你们有了 Combination有结合体以后，我觉得也是一个你跟你老公的共同的一个项目，一个project，因为我跟我老公经常会一起做一些就项目，比如说一起做一个APP或者开发一些新的兴趣爱好，所以对我们来说宝宝是一个一个很长期的，但是可以一起投入的一个 team，团队合作的项目。
Xinqing: dàn​shì yě méi​yǒu dàn jiù kěn​dìng yǒu cāo​láo hé xīn​kǔ, dàn suǒ​yǒu de mā​ma yě hái​shi huì shuō yǒu hěn duō de xǐ​yuè, jiù lìng​wài yí gè dāng nǐ​men yǒu le Combination yǒu jié​hé tǐ yǐ​hòu, wǒ jué​de yě shì yí gè nǐ gēn nǐ lǎo​gōng de gòng​tóng de yí gè xiàng​mù, yí gè project, yīn​wèi wǒ gēn wǒ lǎo​gōng jīng​cháng huì yī​qǐ zuò yī​xiē jiù xiàng​mù, bǐ​rú shuō yī​qǐ zuò yí gè A P P huò​zhě kāi​fā yī​xiē xīn de xìng​qù ài​hào, suǒ​yǐ duì wǒ​men lái shuō bǎo​bǎo shì yí gè yí gè hěn cháng​qī de, dàn​shì kě​yǐ yī​qǐ tóu​rù de yí gè team, tuán​duì hé​zuò de xiàng​mù.
Xinqing: But there is no, but there must be hard work and hard work, but all mothers will still say that there is a lot of joy. The other thing is that when you have a combination, I think it is also a common thing for you and your husband. One project, one project, because my husband and I often do some old projects together, such as making an app together or developing some new hobbies, so for us, the baby is a very long-term one, but we can invest together A team, a teamwork project.

Ella: 我会觉得像你刚才说的我的想法可能我也没法保证说我可能一生都是这个想法，我的想法在在多少年后是有可能发生变化的，可能接下来的5年之内我可以确保我是不想要孩子的，但如果10年之后我的想法变了，那个时候可能会去考虑领养一个孩子，然后像这种你们两个人的一个project，我会这种想法，在我看来我会很担心 project在我的生活中占比过重，然后我会在 project里丢失了自己，我会很怕自己的身份，只是一个妈妈，我不再是一个独立的女人，我的身份就是妈妈，我的生活的一切都是围绕这个孩子的，我忘了我是一个女儿，我是一个女性工作者，我是一个女朋友或者妻子，我是我朋友的朋友，我只是一个妈妈，这是我非常惧怕的事情。
Ella: wǒ huì jué​de xiàng nǐ gāng​cái shuō de wǒ de xiǎng​fǎ kě​néng wǒ yě méi​fǎ bǎo​zhèng shuō wǒ kě​néng yī​shēng dōu shì zhè​ge xiǎng​fǎ, wǒ de xiǎng​fǎ zài zài duō​shǎo nián hòu shì yǒu kě​néng fā​shēng biàn​huà de, kě​néng jiē​xià​lái de 5 nián zhī​nèi wǒ kě​yǐ què​bǎo wǒ shì bù xiǎng​yào hái​zi de, dàn rú​guǒ 10 nián zhī​hòu wǒ de xiǎng​fǎ biàn le, nà​ge shí​hou kě​néng huì qù kǎo​lǜ lǐng​yǎng yí gè hái​zi, rán​hòu xiàng zhè​zhǒng nǐ​men liǎng gè rén de yí gè project, wǒ huì zhè​zhǒng xiǎng​fǎ, zài​wǒ​kàn lái wǒ huì hěn dān​xīn project zài wǒ de shēng​huó zhōng zhàn bǐ guò​zhòng, rán​hòu wǒ huì zài project lǐ diū​shī le zì​jǐ, wǒ huì hěn pà zì​jǐ de shēn​fèn, zhǐ​shì yí gè mā​ma, wǒ bù​zài shì yí gè dú​lì de nǚ​rén, wǒ de shēn​fèn jiù​shì mā​ma, wǒ de shēng​huó de yī​qiè dōu shì wéi​rào zhè​ge hái​zi de, wǒ wàng le wǒ shì yí gè nǚ​’ér, wǒ shì yí gè nǚ​xìng gōng​zuò​zhě, wǒ shì yí gè nǚ​péng​you huò​zhě qī​zǐ, wǒ shì wǒ péng​you de péng​you, wǒ zhǐ​shì yí gè mā​ma, zhè shì wǒ fēi​cháng jù​pà de shì​qing.
Ella: I feel like what you just said about my thoughts, maybe I can’t guarantee that I may have this idea all my life, my thoughts may change in a few years, maybe in the next 5 years I can make sure that I don’t want a child, but if my mind changes after 10 years, I may consider adopting a child at that time, and then a project like this between the two of you, I will have this idea, in It seems to me that I will be very worried that the project will take up too much of my life, and then I will lose myself in the project, and I will be very afraid of my identity, just a mother, I am no longer an independent woman, I My identity is mother, everything in my life revolves around this child, I forget that I am a daughter, I am a female worker, I am a girlfriend or wife, I am a friend of my friend, I am just a Mom, this is something I’m terribly afraid of.

Xinqing: 我觉得对我来说也是但我觉得有还是你可以做一些努力，或者你跟你的你能跟你的partner，你跟你的老公可以就是协定好商量好，说未来不要让你迷失了自己，不要让你只有一个妈妈的角色，我觉得这些是可以避免的，也不是一个必然会造成的悲剧结果。
Xinqing: wǒ jué​de duì wǒ lái shuō yě shì dàn wǒ jué​de yǒu hái​shi nǐ kě​yǐ zuò yī​xiē nǔ​lì, huò​zhě nǐ gēn nǐ de nǐ néng gēn nǐ de partner, nǐ gēn nǐ de lǎo​gōng kě​yǐ jiù​shì xié​dìng hǎo shāng​liang hǎo, shuō wèi​lái bù​yào ràng nǐ mí​shī le zì​jǐ, bù​yào ràng nǐ zhǐ yǒu yí gè mā​ma de jué​sè, wǒ jué​de zhè​xiē shì kě​yǐ bì​miǎn de, yě bù​shì yí gè bì​rán huì zào​chéng de bēi​jù jié​guǒ.
Xinqing: I think it is the same for me, but I think you can make some efforts, or you and your partner, you and your husband can just make an agreement and discuss it, saying that the future will not let you get lost For yourself, don’t let you only have a mother role, I think these can be avoided, and it is not an inevitable tragic result.

当然很多的我也看到很多的中国的比如说朋友，家庭妈妈，女性真的变成了只有一个角色，就是妈妈，但对我来说也肯定不是那样子的，所以我觉得需要很多的需要一些计划，比如说在哪里生小孩，然后你有没有个support system对吧？
dāng​rán hěn duō de wǒ yě kàn dào hěn duō de Zhōng​guó de bǐ​rú shuō péng​you, jiā​tíng mā​ma, nǚ​xìng zhēn de biàn​chéng le zhǐ yǒu yí gè jué​sè, jiù​shì mā​ma, dàn duì wǒ lái shuō yě kěn​dìng bù​shì nà yàng​zi de, suǒ​yǐ wǒ jué​de xū​yào hěn duō de xū​yào yī​xiē jì​huà, bǐ​rú shuō zài nǎ​lǐ shēng xiǎo​hái, rán​hòu nǐ yǒu​méi​yǒu gè support system duì ba?
Of course, I have also seen a lot of Chinese people, such as friends, house mothers, and women really have only one role, that is, mother, but it is definitely not like that for me, so I think it needs a lot of needs Some plans, such as where to give birth, and do you have a support system, right?

有没有人来帮你照顾小孩？
yǒu​méi​yǒu rén lái bāng nǐ zhào​gu xiǎo​hái?
Is there someone to help you babysit?

头6个月一开始，你是想要请一个保姆，还是你的双方的家长可以来照顾，这样就可以让你。
tóu 6 gè yuè yì kāi​shǐ, nǐ shì xiǎng​yào qǐng yí gè bǎo​mǔ, hái​shi nǐ de shuāng​fāng de jiā​zhǎng kě​yǐ lái zhào​gu, zhè​yàng jiù kě​yǐ ràng nǐ.
At the beginning of the first 6 months, do you want to hire a nanny, or can both of your parents come and take care of it, so that can let you.

Ella: 跳脱出来那个角色。
Ella: tiào tuō chū​lái nà​ge jué​sè.
Ella: Get out of that character.

Xinqing: 对，如果有一个非常好的支持系统，
Xinqing: duì, rú​guǒ yǒu yí gè fēi​cháng hǎo de zhī​chí xì​tǒng,
Xinqing: Yes, if there is a very good support system,

Ella: 在一些社会的情况下，肯定是能做到保持独立的自己，又成为一个让自己满意的母亲了，但是她是有一定风险的一个事情，然后就算我现在其实对这个事情是很有意识的，但我觉得一旦我有了孩子，我这个意识可能就会被现实的这种爱或者是其他动力的驱使给忽视掉，或者是比现在意识感降低一些，所以有这样的风险的话，我可能会直接选择不需要孩子。
Ella: zài yī​xiē shè​huì de qíng​kuàng xià, kěn​dìng shì néng zuò​dào bǎo​chí dú​lì de zì​jǐ, yòu chéng​wéi yí gè ràng zì​jǐ mǎn​yì de mǔ​qīn le, dàn​shì tā shì yǒu yī​dìng fēng​xiǎn de yí gè shì​qing, rán​hòu jiù​suàn wǒ xiàn​zài qí​shí duì zhè​ge shì​qing shì hěn yǒu​yì​shí de, dàn wǒ jué​de yī​dàn wǒ yǒu le hái​zi, wǒ zhè​ge yì​shí kě​néng jiù huì bèi xiàn​shí de zhè​zhǒng ài huò​zhě shì qí​tā dòng​lì de qū​shǐ gěi hū​shì diào, huò​zhě shì bǐ xiàn​zài yì​shí gǎn jiàng​dī yī​xiē, suǒ​yǐ yǒu zhè​yàng de fēng​xiǎn de​huà, wǒ kě​néng huì zhí​jiē xuǎn​zé bù xū​yào hái​zi.
Ella: In some social situations, it is definitely possible to maintain an independent self and become a satisfied mother again, but she is a matter of certain risks, and even if I am actually very conscious of this matter now Yes, but I think that once I have a child, my consciousness may be ignored by the real love or other motivations, or my sense of consciousness will be lower than it is now, so if there is such a risk, I May simply choose not to have children.

Xinqing: 我感觉就是归根结底，我们作为一个人，我们的角色也是随着年龄不停的在变化，比如说十几岁的你并就没有一个女朋友的角色，但是因为你有了你的现在的伴侣，你的男朋友，你加了一份新的角色，就是女朋友，这个给你带来很多的喜悦，很多的新的经历，但也有职责，所以我觉得妈妈也只不过是一个新的角色，可能比重会大一点，但是你还是可以控制它。
Xinqing: wǒ gǎn​jué jiù​shì guī​gēn​jié​dǐ, wǒ​men zuò​wéi yí gè rén, wǒ​men de jué​sè yě shì suí​zhe nián​líng bù​tíng de zài biàn​huà, bǐ​rú shuō shí​jǐ suì de nǐ bìng jiù méi​yǒu yí gè nǚ​péng​you de jué​sè, dàn​shì yīn​wèi nǐ yǒu le nǐ de xiàn​zài de bàn​lǚ, nǐ de nán​péng​you, nǐ jiā le yí fèn xīn de jué​sè, jiù​shì nǚ​péng​you, zhè​ge gěi nǐ dài​lái hěn duō de xǐ​yuè, hěn duō de xīn de jīng​lì, dàn yě yǒu zhí​zé, suǒ​yǐ wǒ jué​de mā​ma yě zhǐ​bu​guò shì yí gè xīn de jué​sè, kě​néng bǐ​zhòng huì dà yī​diǎn, dàn​shì nǐ hái​shi kě​yǐ kòng​zhì tā.
Xinqing: I feel that in the final analysis, as a person, our roles are constantly changing with age. For example, when you were a teenager, you didn’t have the role of a girlfriend, but because you have your current one Partner, your boyfriend, you have added a new role, which is girlfriend, which brings you a lot of joy, a lot of new experiences, but also has responsibilities, so I think mother is just a new role The character, maybe a bit heavier, but you can still control it.

然后等到你50岁你会变成一个还有那种外婆的角色，奶奶的角色都会变，然后就会不停的有新的角色加进来，所以也没有那么的可怕，有点像换工作，就是你反正你最后还是你经常会换工作，所以经常会有新的职责加入进来。
rán​hòu děng​dào nǐ 50 suì nǐ huì biàn​chéng yí gè hái​yǒu nà​zhǒng wài​pó de jué​sè, nǎi​nai de jué​sè dōu huì biàn, rán​hòu jiù huì bù​tíng de yǒu xīn de jué​sè jiā​jìn lái, suǒ​yǐ yě méi​yǒu nà​me de kě​pà, yǒu​diǎn xiàng huàn gōng​zuò, jiù​shì nǐ fǎn​zhèng nǐ zuì​hòu hái​shi nǐ jīng​cháng huì huàn gōng​zuò, suǒ​yǐ jīng​cháng huì yǒu xīn de zhí​zé jiā​rù jìn​lái.
Then when you are 50 years old, you will become a character with that kind of grandma. The role of grandma will change, and then new characters will be added continuously, so it is not so scary. It is a bit like changing jobs, that is. You end up anyway and you change jobs a lot, so new responsibilities are often added.

Ella: 我觉得这样想是很健康的一种想法。
Ella: wǒ jué​de zhè​yàng xiǎng shì hěn jiàn​kāng de yī​zhǒng xiǎng​fǎ.
Ella: I think it’s a very healthy way of thinking.

非常好。
fēi​cháng hǎo.
very good.

Xinqing: 我感觉我好像在说服你要小孩。
Xinqing: wǒ gǎn​jué wǒ hǎo​xiàng zài shuō​fú nǐ yào xiǎo​hái.
Xinqing: I feel like I’m trying to convince you to have a child.

但其实我也没有那么确定，反正至少我觉得未来。
dàn qí​shí wǒ yě méi​yǒu nà​me què​dìng, fǎn​zhèng zhì​shǎo wǒ jué​de wèi​lái.
But in fact, I am not so sure, anyway, at least I think the future.

Ella: 两三年我也没有这个打算，我觉得这种阶段性的角色是一种很。
Ella: liǎng sān nián wǒ yě méi​yǒu zhè​ge dǎ​suàn, wǒ jué​de zhè​zhǒng jiē​duàn​xìng de jué​sè shì yī​zhǒng hěn.
Ella: I don’t have this plan for two or three years. I think this kind of staged role is very difficult.

很舒服的看待生活的和人生的方式，但是你一旦进入了妈妈角色，你肯定其他的东西的占比在你生活中会降低。
hěn shū​fu de kàn​dài shēng​huó de hé rén​shēng de fāng​shì, dàn​shì nǐ yī​dàn jìn​rù le mā​ma jué​sè, nǐ kěn​dìng qí​tā de dōng​xi de zhàn bǐ zài nǐ shēng​huó zhōng huì jiàng​dī.
It is very comfortable to look at life and the way of life, but once you enter the role of mother, you are sure that the proportion of other things in your life will decrease.

然后对我来说，比如说比如说探索世界出去玩，比如说和亲戚和亲人和朋友在一起的时间，对我来说这些东西的占比我不想让他的比重降低，而且我会觉得这些东西让我的生活非常的充实。
rán​hòu duì wǒ lái shuō, bǐ​rú shuō bǐ​rú shuō tàn​suǒ shì​jiè chū​qù wán, bǐ​rú shuō hé qīn​qi hé qīn​rén hé péng​you zài yī​qǐ de shí​jiān, duì wǒ lái shuō zhè​xiē dōng​xi de zhàn bǐ wǒ bù​xiǎng ràng tā de bǐ​zhòng jiàng​dī, ér​qiě wǒ huì jué​de zhè​xiē dōng​xi ràng wǒ de shēng​huó fēi​cháng de chōng​shí.
Then for me, for example, for example, exploring the world and going out to play, such as time with relatives and relatives and friends, for me, the proportion of these things I don’t want to reduce his proportion, and I will feel that these Stuff makes my life very fulfilling.

Xinqing: 对，他有的时候逼不得已，比如说作为一个女性工作者，有的时候工作很忙的时候，你也会牺牲一些，比如说作为女朋友的角色，作为你朋友的角色。
Xinqing: duì, tā yǒu de shí​hou bī bù​dé​yǐ, bǐ​rú shuō zuò​wéi yí gè nǚ​xìng gōng​zuò​zhě, yǒu de shí​hou gōng​zuò hěn máng de shí​hou, nǐ yě huì xī​shēng yī​xiē, bǐ​rú shuō zuò​wéi nǚ​péng​you de jué​sè, zuò​wéi nǐ péng​you de jué​sè.
Xinqing: Yes, sometimes he is forced to, for example, as a female worker, sometimes when the work is very busy, you will sacrifice some, such as the role of girlfriend or your friend.

所以那个时候其实你作为一个打工人的身份也已经超越了其他的角色，所以在不同的阶段，比如说如果这段时间你想like focus on your career，right？
suǒ​yǐ nà​ge shí​hou qí​shí nǐ zuò​wéi yí gè dǎ gōng​rén de shēn​fèn yě yǐ​jīng chāo​yuè le qí​tā de jué​sè, suǒ​yǐ zài bù​tóng de jiē​duàn, bǐ​rú shuō rú​guǒ zhè duàn shí​jiān nǐ xiǎng like focus on your career, right?
So at that time, your identity as a worker has surpassed other roles, so at different stages, for example, if you want to like focus on your career during this period, right?

你想把重心放在事业上，你的另外一个角色也会替代。
nǐ xiǎng bǎ zhòng​xīn fàng zài shì​yè shàng, nǐ de lìng​wài yí gè jué​sè yě huì tì​dài.
You want to focus on your career, and another of your roles will take over.

Ella: 对，所以我觉得作为一个女性，在当下社会里这些角色已经让我忙碌到头了，我没有精力再去加入一个母亲的角色
Ella: duì, suǒ​yǐ wǒ jué​de zuò​wéi yí gè nǚ​xìng, zài dāng​xià shè​huì lǐ zhè​xiē jué​sè yǐ​jīng ràng wǒ máng​lù dào​tóu le, wǒ méi​yǒu jīng​lì zài qù jiā​rù yí gè mǔ​qīn de jué​sè
Ella: Yes, so I think as a woman, these roles have kept me busy in the current society, and I don’t have the energy to join the role of a mother

Xinqing: 你对你对领养这个事情也是持开放的态度。
Xinqing: nǐ duì nǐ duì lǐng​yǎng zhè​ge shì​qing yě shì chí kāi​fàng de tài​du.
Xinqing: You are also open to the matter of adoption.

Ella: 非常开放，虽然可能现实会有很多的困境或者问题要考虑，比如说营养的话。
Ella: fēi​cháng kāi​fàng, suī​rán kě​néng xiàn​shí huì yǒu hěn duō de kùn​jìng huò​zhě wèn​tí yào kǎo​lǜ, bǐ​rú shuō yíng​yǎng de​huà.
Ella: Very open, although there may be many dilemmas or issues to consider in reality, such as nutrition.

Xinqing: 你是否愿意去领养一个大的几岁的孩子。
Xinqing: nǐ shì​fǒu yuàn​yì qù lǐng​yǎng yí gè dà de jǐ​suì de hái​zi.
Xinqing: Would you like to adopt an older child of a few years old?

Ella: 几岁的孩子甚至10岁以上的，这有可能吗？
Ella: jǐ​suì de hái​zi shèn​zhì 10 suì yǐ​shàng de, zhè yǒu kě​néng ma?
Ella: How old are the children or even over 10 years old, is it possible?

你会愿意吗？
nǐ huì yuàn​yì ma?
Would you like to?

这些问题？
zhè​xiē wèn​tí?
these questions?

可能是如果我真的想领养的话，我会认真考虑这些问题。
kě​néng shì rú​guǒ wǒ zhēn de xiǎng lǐng​yǎng de​huà, wǒ huì rèn​zhēn kǎo​lǜ zhè​xiē wèn​tí.
It could be that if I really wanted to adopt, I would seriously consider these issues.

Xinqing: 如果你领养一个10岁的孩子，你的操劳和辛苦可能会远大于养大你自己的孩子，我觉得是的。
Xinqing: rú​guǒ nǐ lǐng​yǎng yí gè 10 suì de hái​zi, nǐ de cāo​láo hé xīn​kǔ kě​néng huì yuǎn​dà yú yǎng dà nǐ zì​jǐ de hái​zi, wǒ jué​de shì de.
Xinqing: If you adopt a 10-year-old child, your care and hard work may be far greater than raising your own child, I think so.

而且你就缺少了那一份想象，就是把你们两个的基因放在一起，刚才说我觉得那是一个很对我来说是一个很充满爱的，你知道我觉得对于我来说很多我对我想要孩子的感受，其实基于我对我的伴侣的爱情，因为我很信任他，然后很想要跟他一起来做这个事情。
ér​qiě nǐ jiù quē​shǎo le nà yí fèn xiǎng​xiàng, jiù​shì bǎ nǐ​men liǎng gè de jī​yīn fàng zài yī​qǐ, gāng​cái shuō wǒ jué​de nà shì yí gè hěn duì wǒ lái shuō shì yí gè hěn chōng​mǎn ài de, nǐ zhī​dào wǒ jué​de duì​yú wǒ lái shuō hěn duō wǒ duì wǒ xiǎng​yào hái​zi de gǎn​shòu, qí​shí jī​yú wǒ duì wǒ de bàn​lǚ de ài​qíng, yīn​wèi wǒ hěn xìn​rèn tā, rán​hòu hěn xiǎng​yào gēn tā yì qǐ​lai zuò zhè​ge shì​qing.
And you lack that imagination, which is to put the genes of the two of you together. I just said that I think it is a very loving one for me. You know, I think it is a lot for me. The feeling that I want to have children is actually based on my love for my partner, because I trust him so much, and then I really want to do this thing with him.

所以这是为什么在我结婚之前，其实我并不是很想要小孩，但我觉得我现在慢慢的改变是因为找到了一个对的 teammate对的队友来做这个事情。
suǒ​yǐ zhè shì wèi​shén​me zài wǒ jié​hūn zhī​qián, qí​shí wǒ bìng bù​shì hěn xiǎng​yào xiǎo​hái, dàn wǒ jué​de wǒ xiàn​zài màn​màn de gǎi​biàn shì yīn​wèi zhǎo​dào le yí gè duì de teammate duì de duì​yǒu lái zuò zhè​ge shì​qing.
So this is why before I got married, I didn’t really want children, but I think I am slowly changing now because I found a right teammate to do this.

Ella: 我其实有一个瞬间有过稍微相似的感受或想法，我在看到我的伴侣去逗一只小狗的时候，我觉得他照顾一只宠物的时候特别的可爱，这样这样就会让我想象他当一个爸爸是不是也很可爱，但是下一秒我就打住了这个想法，我觉得就为了满足我自己的好奇心去要一个孩子的话，实在是对这个孩子太不公平了，比如说我会从朋友那里，曾经从朋友那里听到过这样的言论，他会说现在觉得我的生活太平淡太无聊了，要一个孩子是不是能帮我打破这种困境。
Ella: wǒ qí​shí yǒu yí gè shùn​jiān yǒu guò shāo​wēi xiāng​sì de gǎn​shòu huò xiǎng​fǎ, wǒ zài kàn dào wǒ de bàn​lǚ qù dòu yì zhī xiǎo​gǒu de shí​hou, wǒ jué​de tā zhào​gu yì zhī chǒng​wù de shí​hou tè​bié de kě​’ài, zhè​yàng zhè​yàng jiù huì ràng wǒ xiǎng​xiàng tā dāng yí gè bà​ba shì​bù​shì yě hěn kě​’ài, dàn​shì xià yì miǎo wǒ jiù dǎ​zhù le zhè​ge xiǎng​fǎ, wǒ jué​de jiù wèi​le mǎn​zú wǒ zì​jǐ de hào​qí​xīn qù yào yí gè hái​zi de​huà, shí​zài shì duì zhè​ge hái​zi tài bù gōng​píng le, bǐ​rú shuō wǒ huì cóng péng​you nà​li, céng​jīng cóng péng​you nà​li tīng​dào guò zhè​yàng de yán​lùn, tā huì shuō xiàn​zài jué​de wǒ de shēng​huó tài píng​dàn tài wú​liáo le, yào yí gè hái​zi shì​bù​shì néng bāng wǒ dǎ​pò zhè​zhǒng kùn​jìng.
Ella: I actually had a slightly similar feeling or thought for a moment. When I saw my partner tease a puppy, I thought he was very cute when he took care of a pet. I imagined that he would be cute as a father, but the next second I stopped thinking about it. I think it would be too unfair to the child to have a child just to satisfy my own curiosity, such as Said that I would hear such remarks from a friend, and he would say that now I feel that my life is too ordinary and boring, and whether having a child can help me break out of this predicament.

Xinqing: 我觉得是不对的，不健康，我听说过有一些比如说伴侣夫妻老公，然后他们因为婚姻出现了一些问题，或者婚姻变趋于平淡，趋于平庸，他们说现在是不是一个孩子来来用一个孩子来挽救一段婚姻，我觉得这是非常错误的一个想法，因为孩子不会挽救婚姻，孩子只会让婚姻越来越糟糕，如果你本来就有问题，有裂痕的话就不应该要那个时候要孩子对我同意不知道听众朋友怎么想，我想我们听众朋友又也有很多三十几岁的女性朋友，这个话题挺有意思的，而且我最近看了芭比电影你看了吗？
Xinqing: wǒ jué​de shì bú duì de, bú jiàn​kāng, wǒ tīng​shuō guò yǒu yī​xiē bǐ​rú shuō bàn​lǚ fū​qī lǎo​gōng, rán​hòu tā​men yīn​wèi hūn​yīn chū​xiàn le yī​xiē wèn​tí, huò​zhě hūn​yīn biàn qū​yú píng​dàn, qū​yú píng​yōng, tā​men shuō xiàn​zài shì​bù​shì yí gè hái​zi lái lái yòng yí gè hái​zi lái wǎn​jiù yí duàn hūn​yīn, wǒ jué​de zhè shì fēi​cháng cuò​wù de yí gè xiǎng​fǎ, yīn​wèi hái​zi bù​huì wǎn​jiù hūn​yīn, hái​zi zhǐ huì ràng hūn​yīn yuè​lái​yuè zāo​gāo, rú​guǒ nǐ běn​lái jiù yǒu wèn​tí, yǒu liè​hén de​huà jiù bù yīng​gāi yào nà​ge shí​hou yào hái​zi duì wǒ tóng​yì bù zhī​dào tīng​zhòng péng​you zěn​me xiǎng, wǒ xiǎng wǒ​men tīng​zhòng péng​you yòu yě yǒu hěn duō sān​shí jǐ​suì de nǚ​xìng péng​you, zhè​ge huà​tí tǐng yǒu​yì​si de, ér​qiě wǒ zuì​jìn kàn le Bā​bǐ diàn​yǐng nǐ kàn le ma?
Xinqing: I think it’s not right, it’s not healthy. I’ve heard that some couples, husbands, and husbands have some problems because of their marriage, or their marriage has become flat and mediocre. They say it’s not a child now. To use a child to save a marriage, I think this is a very wrong idea, because a child will not save a marriage, and a child will only make the marriage worse. If you have problems and cracks, you should not At that time, I asked the children to agree to me. I don’t know what the audience friends think. I think our audience friends also have many female friends in their thirties. This topic is very interesting. Besides, have you watched the Barbie movie recently?

看了下次可以讨论一下。
kàn le xià​cì kě​yǐ tǎo​lùn yī​xià.
We can discuss it next time.

女权 和芭比。
nǚ​quán hé Bā​bǐ.
Feminism and Barbie.

Ella: 我觉得今天的讨论可能也稍微涉及到一些女权的话题，总总而言之，我觉得女性不应该被社会和家庭的压力或者是传统所束缚，如果你想要做一个妈妈，就去勇敢的做一个妈妈，如果你不想做一个妈妈，你可以自由的承担所谓的责任或者是角色。
Ella: wǒ jué​de jīn​tiān de tǎo​lùn kě​néng yě shāo​wēi shè​jí dào yī​xiē nǚ​quán de huà​tí, zǒng zǒng​’ér​yán​zhī, wǒ jué​de nǚ​xìng bù yīng​gāi bèi shè​huì hé jiā​tíng de yā​lì huò​zhě shì chuán​tǒng suǒ shù​fù, rú​guǒ nǐ xiǎng​yào zuò yí gè mā​ma, jiù qù yǒng​gǎn de zuò yí gè mā​ma, rú​guǒ nǐ bù​xiǎng zuò yí gè mā​ma, nǐ kě​yǐ zì​yóu de chéng​dān suǒ​wèi de zé​rèn huò​zhě shì jué​sè.
Ella: I think today’s discussion may also involve some topics of feminism. All in all, I think women should not be bound by social and family pressure or tradition. If you want to be a mother, you must be brave. A mother, if you don’t want to be a mother, you are free to assume the so-called responsibilities or roles.

Xinqing: 好说的，好，谢谢Ella:
Xinqing: hǎo shuō de, hǎo, xiè​xie Ella:
Xinqing: Well said, okay, thank you Ella:

拜拜。
bái​bái.
Bye-Bye.